"At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished you may either hang up, or stay on the line for further options. Beeeeeeep...."

I copied this from an article on Yahoo News. This is from Amsterdam.

God is taking calls.
Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on his answering machine.
Van der Dong said he set up the number to give people an opportunity to take pause and contemplate life.
"Like praying, leaving a voicemail message is a way to organize your thoughts," he said. "It's a perfect combination for some contemplation."
Callers dialing 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) from March 7 will hear.
"Hi, you are speaking to God. I'm not in right now so leave a message after the beep."

Since I don't want to call long distance, here is my message.....

Hey God. It's me, Barb. Long time no talk! Yeh, so anyway....Where have ya been? I spent a lot of time, you know, talking to you and such when I was a kid. But now, not so much. I'm just not feel'n ya anymore. With all the hating going on in the world, and all the needless deaths. It makes me wonder why I was talking to you in the first place. That peaceful feeling people are suppose to have when they talk to you, or think about you, or pray to you.....yah, don't have that. Some people won't like me because of that, others will pray for my soul. Me? I guess I will find out when I die. My mom used to tell me that when you die, if you have not learned your lesson that you were suppose to learn in your lifetime, then you don't go to heaven. Instead you have to come back here and live again until you have learned your particular lesson. Sweet! I get to come back?! Right on! I love it here. Even though there is death, and sadness in the world, there is also beauty and happiness. And a ton of fun sh*t ( oops...sorry for the little swear word. i know....10 hail marys) to do! Like laying on a sandy beach. Or having wild sex! Yeh heheheh! I'll come back. I hope you don't mind that I like to spend my time enjoying life instead worrying about whether or not I get to spend eternity with you. Because I'm all about being happy and making the people I love happy. Is that OK with you? I'm sure it is. You're all about people being happy, spreading the love. You're God.